Yep, that's right. I'm a dummy.
2008-01-31
Lazy Day
Braden is sleeping, Brad is gaming...I'm just sitting here listening to the sound of the sleet on the roof and the babies little noise machine make bird chirping noises at me. It's rather peaceful, actually.
The ball of yarn and needles that Sabbath loaned me are sitting in front of me. I tried to keep going with the stitches she started for me, but I messed it up pretty bad, so I pulled all of it out and started over. Well I tried to start over lol. Apparently I suck pretty bad at this. I think I'm gonna make a trip to Borders and buy "Knitting for Dummies".
2008-01-30
Fantasy Readers
Someone over at BBC was just asking me about my favorite fantasy books, and I thought hey why not share them here too. I'm an avid fantasy reader and I swear I've read almost every book on the Borders shelves. So here's my top picks:
Kushiel's Dart
The Bone Doll's Twin
The Dark Mirror
The Wayfarer Redemption
The Ill-Made Mute
Rhapsody
Boobie Victory!
So I finally managed to successfully breastfeed my little man in my baby carrier, the Baby K'tan 
On a related note, the past couple nights I've been side-lying to feed him, so much more relaxing than having to get up :D
2008-01-29
I love Washington
After spending three years on Oahu, HI it's so nice to wake up to this!
Digital vs Diary
Last night I happen to be looking at my bookshelf and I saw all the half-finished diaries I have. In particular, the one I thought I'd start while I was pregnant with Braden. I thought it might be nice to have memories saved and recorded somewhere for him. Then I thought about blogging, and wondered where it would be in 20 years. Will these websites still be here? For all of us who put a lot of time into recording our memories and lives over the internet, wouldn't we like to share them with our children someday? It's odd to think of a website still being up and running after so long.
Maybe it's because I never manage to finish anything, and just like those diaries, the blog will eventually sit forgotten and neglected.
I really would like be able to show Braden these things one day, though.
Babycenter Sig
My BBC signature, I made the blinkies myself, I'm so proud :D 
Blogger URL, Serious PITA
So it took me, no joke, 3 days to start this blog because I couldn't come up with a Title and URL that I liked. Finally, half a sleep a couple days ago, Through the Looking Glass popped up in my head and I thought, "Oh that's so it" and promptly passed out again.
Then when I tried to actually use LookingGlass.blogspot.com or TheLookingGlass.blogspot.com or even TTLG.blogspot.com, they were all used. WTF. Two of them aren't even real profiles, some jackarse just took the url and never logged back on again. Great thanks, really.
I finally just ended up using something family oriented which is ok, at least it's semi-clever (don't burst my bubble).
Update! (04-08-08) Now I've taken a whole new spin on the subject and I'm focusing the blog on my parenting style. It's called Attachment Parenting, I hope you'll stay a while and check stuff out!
12-23-07 Braden's Birthstory
Baby's Name: Braden David
Date of Birth: 23 Dec 2007
Original Due Date: 03 Jan 2008
Weeks Pregnant: 38w 2d
Weight: 7lb 8oz
Length: 19 3/4"
Story: I had been telling the baby for a while now that I wanted him to be born on saturday the 22nd, so friday night my husband and I went for a long walk around the neighborhood to look at all the christmas lights, hoping a brisk walk would get things started. Early saturday morning around 5:30am, I woke up with some mild contractions. I got out of bed and walked around a bit, spent a lot of time in the bathroom because I was needing to pee every 10 mins. Around 7:45am I lost a good portion of my mucus plug and started having bloody show. At this point I was happy at the thought of meeting my baby soon. I took a shower and that seemed to slow things down. For the rest of the day I cleaned the house and majorly scrubbed down our master bathroom.
Around 9pm at night, I thought it probably wasn't going to happen that day so I layed down to try and get some sleep. My contractions were just painful/uncomfortable enough that I couldn't settle down. I was having to rotate my hips every time the pain came. I got up and went downstairs and asked my husband to find the Unisom. That didn't work at all. I was walking around the house a lot and swaying my hips every time I would get a contraction. They weren't super painful and they only lasted for 20 secs, but they seemed to be coming fast, every 4-5 mins or so. Brad took a shower around midnight and got re-dressed because "You don't seem like you're going to make it through the night before we have to go to the hospital". While he was packing our bags for us, we realized that we still hadn't bought a few things we needed, so he went to wal-mart to pick them up. When he got back, we started timing the contractions. They were 2-3 mins apart and 45-50 seconds long. Contractions were still very manageable so I didn't think I could possibly be very far into labor, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep and I was very tired. I told my husband we could go to the hospital, but if they checked me and I was only 1-2 cm dialated, I was going to come back home.
The car ride wasn't fun at all. I leaned over the backseat and held onto the head rest and tried to keep my body relaxed but it was hard. I remember at one point telling Brad to run a red light because it was taking so long. When we got to the hospital, I didn't want to sit in the wheel chair on the ride up because sitting caused me more pain. The hallway on the walk up to L&D felt like it lasted forever, but I still refused to sit in the wheelchair. Once we got up to L&D, I stopped to go to the bathroom while Brad went and got all our hospital bags out of the car. I really felt like I needed to go #2, in hindsight I think I was just paranoid I needed to clean myself out so I didn't poop all over the place while pushing, but it was really just Braden's head putting pressure on me. We checked in at 3:45am and the triage people said I was at 5 cm. They wanted me to lay down for 20 minutes while they did their continuous monitoring, but I wasn't having any of that! It hurt so bad to not be leaning forward. I'm afraid I wasn't a very good patient and the tech was getting irritated. Oh well, too bad for you buddy. At this point we realized Braden was coming soon, so Brad called Sabbath, our Doula, and asked her to meet us at the hospital.
I was taken to my labor room, where the nurse (a new, nicer nurse, yay!) checked the babies heartrate and got my saline lock going. I told her I was feeling a lot of pressure in my anal region and that it really felt like I had to go to the bathroom (yes, this is me, still paranoid lol). She said that was the babies head pressing down and it was a good sign. Brad had to go meet Sabbath so he left around this point for about 20 mins. My midwife came in and checked me and I was at about 7cm. She held my hand while the nurse was finishing up her intake paperwork questions. Then she walked me to the room with the birthing tub, and when I had a contractions she held me and swayed her hips with me. The tub felt heavenly! Sabbath and Brad came back at some point while I was in there and they massaged my back and talked to me between contractions to help distract me. Whatever Sabbath did to my back felt so good!! The midwife checked me again and I was at 8cm. My legs felt very shaky, but otherwise I was still doing great breathing through my contractions. At one point during a contraction the pushy feeling I had been having caused my water to break. A few contractions after that, the midwife asked that I get out of the tub and back into my delivery room (the hospital policy doesn't allow waterbirth, *sadface*).
Back in the room, Sabbath helped me find the most comfortable position for pushing which ended up being up on my knees leaning over the back of the bed that had been inclined up. The contractions were a lot stronger now that my water had broken, so I really kinda just went into myself and breathed through them without really knowing what was going on in the room. (As Ina May would say, "Let your monkey do it".) My husband told me I really had a deathgrip on his hand. I was checked again and was at a 9.5 with only a small lip, but the midwife held it aside with her hand, and I was ready to begin pushing.
I felt naturally able to hand contractions, but pushing was a whole different story. I really had to make myself not breath through them and push with my body. (In hindsight, I think I would've rather waited to push till I had the strong urge, but you know 20/20 and all that jazz) It was very intense. At one point I remember them asking if it was ok if the OB that was on duty that night could come in and watch the birth as they rarely had women deliver in the position I was in. (I could've cared less at that point, funny how things you'd think would irritate you beforehand just don't matter when you're actually there.) I held onto both my Doula's arms while she was standing behind the head of the bed as counterpressure (I'm sorry Sabbath!) and spent 36 minutes and a whole lot of pushes getting him out. (On a related note, I thought I'd hate being told to "push, push push" and yes, yes I did, but I was a good girl and didn't say anything :D ) His cord was around his neck when he crowned, and the midwife tried to remove it with her hands but it was too tight and Braden's head was blue, so they cut the cord before I birthed his body. He was born at 6:15am sunday, December 23rd. He needed help with his first breath so they were unable to place him directly onto my tummy (*cry*), but I could hear him crying while they delivered my placenta. I did have some hemorraging, so recieved a shot of pitocin in my leg. One of the first things the nurse said was, "You bake really cute babies", and whenBrad went to look at him he joked, "You know how some babies are ugly? Well this one isn't!" He really is beatiful, and we're very in love with him.
I'm hoping for a home birth next time.
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